Piers Morgan is not a football guru

8 minutes!

BBC, traffic controller
Don’t let this man into the party
Oops you did, you sold your soul

This is not the greatest post in the world
No, no, this is just a rebuke
I couldn’t remember the greatest post in the world
This is just a re-byeeew-ewewewk

I am not an athlete
I am not a professional athlete
Piers Morgan is not a football guru

He’s a one man protest march
A spam man junk dissenter
With a bellyache full of Arsene Wenger

If Sepp Blatter can govern a public body
Then go figure, Piers, strut your stuff
And Fivelive 606 will lap it up

Eyes on the road, Beeb!
8 minutes of prime time for ‘Sir’?
You boiled that kettle for too long you old Stooge

Lord forbid that the public liked his Hot Air Borealis

Piers Morgan’s verbal planking gets the Beeb’s vote (shortened version)

Swingbypuffin

More “dear diary” than “like me”, here are some quotes to kick off this one-man car boot sale. Send the kids on a treasure hunt and have a garner…

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
George Bernard Shaw

Variations on the theme:
“I’ll never forget that quote… what was it…? We don’t get old because we stop growing; we stop growing when we stop playing… No, hang on…”
Misquote 1: anonymous

“No estamos todos los que son, pero somos todos los que están.”
S. Hernandez and others before him

Variations on the theme:
“Not all of us are here, but those of us who are are.”
Translation-proof: the English

“We don’t just sell rhetoric; rhetoric sells us what ain’t just.” 
Gobbledygook